( marcos doesn't recognize the address but it's not going to stop him from trying to find her. and when he does, he doesn't try and swim up through them yet, sighing and finding a spot high enough to get out of the water for a moment. )
[ Jess peers over the rooftop to try and spot him. Because surely, at a distance, he would figure out what he's dealing with and take the L. No sight of him yet but she's not sure what direction he's coming from. ]
[ no he won't. he'll drown. again. and this time it really will be her fault. and yet she doesn't think she's going to win this game of chicken. ]
I'll come down on 1 condition You talk to me
I wanna know what's making you so miserable you're willing to drown again just to feel like you're somebody's port in a storm [ just a pinch of projection in there. ]
it takes a minute for her to locate him down below. then a second as she climbs up the roof's edge and jumps for the fire escape of the other building. the metal clatters and Jess curses, hauling herself over the rail and landing on her ass. descending, she intermittently glances off by a hip or reaches out with a hand to the wall to steady herself.
Jess wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind and left by the time she arrives, but that's not the case. Jess wipes mussed strands of hair from her face, some unearned pride in the upward tip of her chin. she acknowledges him with a, ]
It's not a term of endearment I've been called before but I'll take it.
( he rolls his eyes at her though, sarcasm heavy in his tone. he crosses his arms, peers up at the roof she'd come down from and then back at her. )
Nice of you to decide to give me the time of day.
( he appreciates her coming down from her perch to talk to him. or be talked at. he said he'd talk but he doesn't really want to especially about himself. )
[ it's not? that's genuinely surprising to her. she's too busy glaring at him to convey it though. ]
Well you seem to need it pretty damn badly. [ she's not going to let him deflect his way out of this. he may have some right to be upset with her but he's said more than his piece on that already. Jess digs into her bag for her flask and tosses it at him in an underhand arc. ]
[ Jess calls bullshit that his motives are purely altruistic. Nobody cares this much that isn't avoiding something in their own life. He doesn't sleep well, and whether that has to do with his life here or his life before, it's a clear sign that he's not okay in some capacity.
She trudges forward to snatch back her flask. If he tries to play keepaway like he did with the joint, things could get uncomfortably physical. ]
Wow, something more we have in common. How amazing.
( she tries to snatch the flask and he pulls it back, taking a few steps away from her. he shoves it into his back pocket, not intending to drink from it or take it but she doesn't get it right now. )
What the hell's the matter with you, Jessica? What? You can't stand having someone give a shit? Too bad, I do. Do you want me to stop?
( she can tell him that all she wants. it's not going to make him stop. )
What's the matter with me? What the hell is wrong with you! [ She advances, intent on taking her flask back on her own terms. ] You don't get to tell me everything's fine when you won't settle for that from me. Goddamn hypocrite! [ She lunges for his side, trying to grab the bottle out of his back pocket without actually putting hands on him. ]
( hypocrite is definitely something he's been called before but he doesn't say that. he just twists away from her for a second and holds up his hands. )
Of course everything isn't fine, Jessica. I'm stuck here, trying to stay fucking sane in the middle of whatever this place is. I ended up chained to a rock, ended up losing time, and now I'm here.
( he spits the words out. he hadn't thought he'd need to spell all this out but here they were. )
So no, I don't accept that from you because I freaking know better.
[ Jess practically snarls at that. She doesn't consider that he knows better because anyone would in this situation, with or without context. She's obviously lashing out, pushing him away so she can fill the space between them with the defenses she feels she's lost. Not only has he been exposed to much of her pain, he got to see her without it. A glimpse at the person she could be were she not bound up in guilt and fear and self-medication.
Mired as she is all three, she can only receive those words as an insult (though she's not so blind as to think that's how he means them). She can only see the imbalance between them, that she's more known to him than he is to her. ]
Tell me again. [ Whether by his wrists or his shoulders, she shoves him back against the nearest wall. Despite her anger, it's not hard enough to bruise or knock the wind out of him. She just wants him to stand fucking still. She wants to see him up close, cruelly personal, as he hurts. ] How it's not fine.
( he knows that she's not using the strength that he's seen her use before but she's still damn strong. his back thumps against the wall and he grimaces almost instinctively before he scowls at her. h)
Is that what you want? To know that I'm not fine? I'm not, Jessica. I haven't been fine for years. I'm just really fucking good at faking it.
( he had to be to do what he did. he didn't want his moods and opinions to bring down the whole mutant underground. he couldn't let his burdens become theirs. )
I hate this place. I hate being away from home. I hate not knowing what's coming next. The only thing that makes me want to survive is the people I've met here.
[ The gaze she bears upon him is relentless, inflexible. This is, in fact, what she wants. She despises herself for it, a present loathing that will compound with time and drink. It's the fastest, easiest way she can start to feel right with him. And if he never wants to see or speak to her again because of it, she won't hold it against him.
He's still keeping himself impressively in check. He doesn't owe her losing control, whatever form it may take. His honesty is all she needs. One of the hands pinning him eases off and digs in between his back and the wall to retrieve her flask. ]
Fake people piss me off. [ A statement from which she is not exempt. ]
That what you've been thinking of me all this time? That I'm fake?
( he rips the flask out of his pocket and tosses it at her feet, feeling his ire start to rise. if she's trying to make him angry, she's starting to succeed. he has a feeling that's what she wants so he continues to try and keep himself in check. )
And what did telling you any of that solve? Misery loves company? Or whatever other stupid ass cliche you can come up with?
( he shakes his head, shoving her so he can get away from the wall. )
[ Rude. She hasn't a leg to stand on there though. Jess just shoots him another glare before she scoops her flask off the ground.
Out of callous ambivalence, Jess chose her words poorly. A lot of connotations come with "fake" that she wouldn't attach to Marcos. But she does feel he's kept a part of himself from her, and she can't tell if he's kept it from himself as well. And she's never been more aware of how it's gotten under her skin than she is tonight. ]
It doesn't solve shit. I just wanted to hear you say it. [ The people he's met here. Hopefully the others don't go rooting around his good nature looking for ulterior motives. Jess uncaps the flask with such frenzied vigor that she fails to grip it and it falls to the ground. ] Quit throwing it in my face that you give a shit about me when that's the only thing you have.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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we're even
does that mean stop making my decisions for me?
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tell me where you are
or come to mine.
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I'm the roof
Good luck
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really?
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Go home
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you won't talk to me if i get up there?
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i still want to see you
do you want me to come up there
because i fucking will
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I'll come down on 1 condition
You talk to me
I wanna know what's making you so miserable you're willing to drown again just to feel like you're somebody's port in a storm [ just a pinch of projection in there. ]
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fine.
come down
i'll talk to you
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it takes a minute for her to locate him down below. then a second as she climbs up the roof's edge and jumps for the fire escape of the other building. the metal clatters and Jess curses, hauling herself over the rail and landing on her ass. descending, she intermittently glances off by a hip or reaches out with a hand to the wall to steady herself.
Jess wouldn't be surprised if he changed his mind and left by the time she arrives, but that's not the case. Jess wipes mussed strands of hair from her face, some unearned pride in the upward tip of her chin. she acknowledges him with a, ]
Mother Teresa.
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( he rolls his eyes at her though, sarcasm heavy in his tone. he crosses his arms, peers up at the roof she'd come down from and then back at her. )
Nice of you to decide to give me the time of day.
( he appreciates her coming down from her perch to talk to him. or be talked at. he said he'd talk but he doesn't really want to especially about himself. )
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Well you seem to need it pretty damn badly. [ she's not going to let him deflect his way out of this. he may have some right to be upset with her but he's said more than his piece on that already. Jess digs into her bag for her flask and tosses it at him in an underhand arc. ]
Grease your wheels. I'm listening.
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( he snatches the flask out of the air but he doesn't do anything but hold it. he doesn't want it right now. )
And I didn't come here looking to throw myself into the water and drown just to see you. I came because —
( he stares at her and then shakes his head. )
I'm allowed to worry about you. I'm allowed to care so don't go telling me that I can't or you're fine on your own. I don't buy it.
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[ Jess calls bullshit that his motives are purely altruistic. Nobody cares this much that isn't avoiding something in their own life. He doesn't sleep well, and whether that has to do with his life here or his life before, it's a clear sign that he's not okay in some capacity.
She trudges forward to snatch back her flask. If he tries to play keepaway like he did with the joint, things could get uncomfortably physical. ]
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( she tries to snatch the flask and he pulls it back, taking a few steps away from her. he shoves it into his back pocket, not intending to drink from it or take it but she doesn't get it right now. )
What the hell's the matter with you, Jessica? What? You can't stand having someone give a shit? Too bad, I do. Do you want me to stop?
( she can tell him that all she wants. it's not going to make him stop. )
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What's the matter with me? What the hell is wrong with you! [ She advances, intent on taking her flask back on her own terms. ] You don't get to tell me everything's fine when you won't settle for that from me. Goddamn hypocrite! [ She lunges for his side, trying to grab the bottle out of his back pocket without actually putting hands on him. ]
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Of course everything isn't fine, Jessica. I'm stuck here, trying to stay fucking sane in the middle of whatever this place is. I ended up chained to a rock, ended up losing time, and now I'm here.
( he spits the words out. he hadn't thought he'd need to spell all this out but here they were. )
So no, I don't accept that from you because I freaking know better.
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Mired as she is all three, she can only receive those words as an insult (though she's not so blind as to think that's how he means them). She can only see the imbalance between them, that she's more known to him than he is to her. ]
Tell me again. [ Whether by his wrists or his shoulders, she shoves him back against the nearest wall. Despite her anger, it's not hard enough to bruise or knock the wind out of him. She just wants him to stand fucking still. She wants to see him up close, cruelly personal, as he hurts. ] How it's not fine.
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Is that what you want? To know that I'm not fine? I'm not, Jessica. I haven't been fine for years. I'm just really fucking good at faking it.
( he had to be to do what he did. he didn't want his moods and opinions to bring down the whole mutant underground. he couldn't let his burdens become theirs. )
I hate this place. I hate being away from home. I hate not knowing what's coming next. The only thing that makes me want to survive is the people I've met here.
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He's still keeping himself impressively in check. He doesn't owe her losing control, whatever form it may take. His honesty is all she needs. One of the hands pinning him eases off and digs in between his back and the wall to retrieve her flask. ]
Fake people piss me off. [ A statement from which she is not exempt. ]
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( he rips the flask out of his pocket and tosses it at her feet, feeling his ire start to rise. if she's trying to make him angry, she's starting to succeed. he has a feeling that's what she wants so he continues to try and keep himself in check. )
And what did telling you any of that solve? Misery loves company? Or whatever other stupid ass cliche you can come up with?
( he shakes his head, shoving her so he can get away from the wall. )
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Out of callous ambivalence, Jess chose her words poorly. A lot of connotations come with "fake" that she wouldn't attach to Marcos. But she does feel he's kept a part of himself from her, and she can't tell if he's kept it from himself as well. And she's never been more aware of how it's gotten under her skin than she is tonight. ]
It doesn't solve shit. I just wanted to hear you say it. [ The people he's met here. Hopefully the others don't go rooting around his good nature looking for ulterior motives. Jess uncaps the flask with such frenzied vigor that she fails to grip it and it falls to the ground. ] Quit throwing it in my face that you give a shit about me when that's the only thing you have.
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