Why the hell would I want to hear from him? It's just a convenience thing. He stays out of my life and I don't give a rat's ass what he can do for me, which is nothing.
I'll get you a copy of the contract. Might give you some ideas around renewal time.
Because you have as much responsibility for him as he does for you. And it's not meant to be for convenience. You're supposed to find someone who will care for you ― someone who wants to care for you. Not everyone is an asshole, Jess. Good Dominants are out there. But you aren't going to find them in any of the circles you run in in the Down.
Oh, no thank you. I don't need a copy of your contract. Mine is fine as is. Lucas made sure of it.
[ who has two thumbs, a drinking problem, and is not his biggest fan? this bluhh. as for the rest, she's going to divert discourse from her issues to try and pry further into Peggy's life. ]
( she warns, knowing exactly where this conversation will lead if they do. she's tired of having to defend each of them against the other.
thankfully she's had to do it less and less with Lucas, now that he's finally grasped she won't choose him if forced to pick a side. contract be damned. )
It's Red Emerald. And I might have actually told you, if you had put in even the slightest bit of effort to sound sincere. But you can't even muster an ounce of it, can you? No. You rather ask as a means to deflect the conversation.
[ Jess does care, but Peggy's right: She's gotten in her own way, trying to find out. ]
My life is a shitshow and it's my shitshow. There are plenty of sadsack subhumans out there who'd make better use of a decent dom. Anyone looking for someone to take care of would be wasting their time on me. Case in point, this conversation.
I know it is. ( and Christ does she hate that for Jess. ) And you keep it a shitshow because it's easier ― safer than putting yourself out there and letting someone in. Someone who would actually care for you the way you deserve. Whether you choose to admit it to yourself or not, you do deserve it.
Fortunately for you, no matter how hard you try, you'll always have at least one, what did you call us ― ah yes, sadsack subhuman whom cares for you.
I didn't mean you. [ Peggy would be fine without a dom, Jess thinks, but so would everyone, in her opinion, so. Yeah. She can't truthfully claim she wasn't talking about Peggy, and why she ought to apologize is the same reason she won't. ]
I'm fine okay. Can't that just be enough? Even if I did deserve that best case scenario, not everybody gets what they deserve. [ As long as Peggy gets it, Jess can live without any happiness of her own. It's an incredibly counterproductive stance when they're both all but allergic to compromise. ]
( while she loathes doing this over text - simply because her words don't hold the same weight read (and that's assuming Jess bothers to read it all and doesn't skim, or outright ignore it) on a screen as they do said in person, Peggy seizes the opportunity to once again drill into Jess's thick skull what she feels and damn well knows Jess is worthy of. )
It can't. Not when you, more than anyone I know, deserve every last speck, every shred of happiness. And you could have it, if you just fucking let yourself. But you're not going to find it in the Down, or at the bottom of bottle.
[ The only good thing about this is that it's happening over text. In person, Jess would react without hesitation. Tell Peggy off, push her away further than is warranted. Reading her words, she can turn away from them and collect herself. She's angry -- at herself, at Peggy, at Kilgrave, at the whole system. She misses the way things were, no matter how far they were from perfect. Jess was never strictly good to herself but she inspired lectures about it a lot less often.
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I'll get you a copy of the contract. Might give you some ideas around renewal time.
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Oh, no thank you. I don't need a copy of your contract. Mine is fine as is. Lucas made sure of it.
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[ who has two thumbs, a drinking problem, and is not his biggest fan? this bluhh. as for the rest, she's going to divert discourse from her issues to try and pry further into Peggy's life. ]
How IS work at the Gaudy Bauble?
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( she warns, knowing exactly where this conversation will lead if they do. she's tired of having to defend each of them against the other.
thankfully she's had to do it less and less with Lucas, now that he's finally grasped she won't choose him if forced to pick a side. contract be damned. )
It's Red Emerald. And I might have actually told you, if you had put in even the slightest bit of effort to sound sincere. But you can't even muster an ounce of it, can you? No. You rather ask as a means to deflect the conversation.
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[ Jess does care, but Peggy's right: She's gotten in her own way, trying to find out. ]
My life is a shitshow and it's my shitshow. There are plenty of sadsack subhumans out there who'd make better use of a decent dom. Anyone looking for someone to take care of would be wasting their time on me. Case in point, this conversation.
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I know it is. ( and Christ does she hate that for Jess. ) And you keep it a shitshow because it's easier ― safer than putting yourself out there and letting someone in. Someone who would actually care for you the way you deserve. Whether you choose to admit it to yourself or not, you do deserve it.
Fortunately for you, no matter how hard you try, you'll always have at least one, what did you call us ― ah yes, sadsack subhuman whom cares for you.
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I'm
fineokay. Can't that just be enough? Even if I did deserve that best case scenario, not everybody gets what they deserve. [ As long as Peggy gets it, Jess can live without any happiness of her own. It's an incredibly counterproductive stance when they're both all but allergic to compromise. ]no subject
It can't. Not when you, more than anyone I know, deserve every last speck, every shred of happiness. And you could have it, if you just fucking let yourself. But you're not going to find it in the Down, or at the bottom of bottle.
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Three minutes drag by before she responds. ]
It's always nice hearing from you.
Night, Peg.