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[grunge]

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NAME: JONES HANDLE: @ALIAS PICTURE: Middle finger, face out of frame.

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[heliophilous]

yeah, i think so.
we talked a bit and cleared some air.
she let me know that dawn's still okay.
which is good.

[grunge]

So she came from the future?
Your future?

[heliophilous]

yeah, i think so
she remembers this place from the last time she was here
so she remembers me from that time too

but i guess months passed between then and now
so she got to see dawn again

( he's holding back on a few details but he doesn't want to make this...difficult or uncomfortable. )

she said i would too
eventually. if i make it out of here.

[grunge]

You're going to make it out of here.

[ he can believe that or not but she has to. it's become more important to her than her own possibility of escape. ]

That proves it.

[heliophilous]

( he wants to believe that but it's not easy, not with how long he's been here. )

i'm trying to believe that
but it doesn't matter right now
because i'm still here.

what matters to me is that she's okay
and that you are too.

so, are you?
tell me the truth

( at the very least, it has to be surprising. )

[grunge]

[ "tell me the truth" hits particularly hard in light of recent conversations she's had without allowance for obfuscation. a conversation that was her choice and her idea, and with someone she trusts infinitely less than Marcos. which she hasn't told Marcos about.

so total honesty it is! ]

It doesn't change how I feel about being with you
I'm not going to push you away

[ they're beyond that now. ]

I liked knowing that she was with Dawn even though you couldn't be
It felt like hope

[ and now that's gone. knowing it was a lie doesn't make having it taken away hurt any less.

unsaid is that none of this is fair to Lorna, who is a person in her own right, who fundamentally deserves her freedom, so that's another shitty layer looming over everything. she's not here or there to be carved up into symbol status for a brief acquaintance, much less the girlfriend of her ex. ]

[heliophilous]

( he's not going to admit that he'd been worried that she'd try and distance herself but he'd been worried. her saying that it wasn't going to happen makes him sigh in relief. )

yeah, i know what you mean.
she and i might have left things on a bad note
but i still didn't want to see her back here.

( he sighs and slides his thumb over the buttons on the device before he responds again. )

it doesn't change how i feel about being with you either
i'm not going anywhere.
and you're still the g word to me.

( he didn't use the word, it doesn't count as his one time. )

[grunge]

[ He doesn't have to admit it. It's a valid concern based on her past behaviour. And it's not like she isn't tempted, just out of habit. But she does truly want to try to be better. In many respects, she's still failing. This is one where she has a chance to succeed. ]

Girlfriend
You can have a freebie.

[ It's the literal least she can do. After a brief pause, ]

There's something I should tell you too.
I met up with William to discuss contracting.

[heliophilous]

( he's about to make a joke about getting a girlfriend freebie before she follows up with that last bit and all he can do for several long moments is stare at her message. )

what?
are you serious?

[grunge]

I had to be.
I wanted to get information out of him. So I dangled that in front of him and he agreed to an interview under the effects of those mushrooms that keep you from lying.

[heliophilous]

jessica, jesus.

would you actually do it?
contract with him?
put yourself in that position where he can have some control over you?

[grunge]

I don't want to.
But if the only way to stop him from hurting people is to dig a hole and bury him in it, he wouldn't have a sub to come looking for him.

[heliophilous]

but what about him hurting you?

again?

[grunge]

I'm taking every precaution I can against that.

[ and it's still a crapshoot. ]

[heliophilous]

( that doesn't instill him with a lot of confidence there, jessica.

he takes a slow breath and brushes a hand through his hair. )

you can't make sure he doesn't hurt people and not contract with him?

[grunge]

If I can make sure whoever he does contract with isn't a loose end

[ aka fucking nick ]

Which is just another plate to spin

[heliophilous]

i could just set him on fire and no one could contract with him.

[grunge]

For a few weeks.
But when he comes back without memories it might be easier to corral him.

[ so it's not off the table. ]

[heliophilous]

( well, it's not an outright no so that's something. he sighs. )

i hate even the thought of you being around him for longer than a few seconds
i hate it.

i understand why you're thinking of doing it
but i hate it.

[grunge]

I hate it too.
I want there to be another way. I'm not done looking for it.

[heliophilous]

okay.
okay.

if i can do anything, let me know
if you just want company, let me know.

i just want you to be okay
and not be alone for this.

[grunge]

I'll tell you before I go through with anything.

In the meantime do you wanna spend the night?

[heliophilous]

thank you.
i'm not gonna stop whatever you think you have to do
but i won't hesitate to blind him if he fucks with you.

and yeah, i do.
your office?
you need me to bring you anything?

[grunge]

He can heal. Fast.
You should know in case he ever tries to fuck with you.

[ a scenario she's prepared for but considers as infrequently as possible. when she stares too long into that darkness, it threatens to take over. ]

The office.
I don't need anything.

[heliophilous]

( marcos kind of wishes that he'd try. but, he keeps that to himself since he doesn't want jessica thinking he's angling for it.

instead, he let's it go for the moment. )

all right
i'm on the way
zingo's with me but she'll curl up in her corner when i get there.